I hate that word, relapse. But I can’t find another word that would suffice.
Last month, I was on a high. I felt so happy, for about 3 weeks straight, I was walking with a hop in my step. I would wonder out loud about why I was on such a high. Nothing could break my bubble. Getting a 70 on my test didn’t even bring me down.
Then, around the beginning of last week, I started to feel weird.
I started to feel really down. I felt like the whole world was shrinking. I felt like I honestly couldn’t move, I felt stuck. I felt like a claustrophobic person stuck in a casket (that was kind of extreme, but you get the point).
And im still stuck in that position. Its been three weeks since this feeling started, and I cant seem to shake it.
Im a self-harmer, if thats even a word. I use to use a sewing razor to slice my wrists. I would feel so full of different emotions and I would bottle them up. I saw the people around me struggling with their own problems, so I thought that if I were to talk about my problems, it would burden them with more things to worry about. So, to let everything out, I would harm myself. I haven’t felt the way I use to in a while. But the past week or so, I’ve felt like I was falling back into my 9th-grade self. And that scares me. 
This icky feeling is stuck on me. Im stuck. And I’m afraid.


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