Encouragement? Please?

Encouragement goes a long long way. It can save someones life.

I live with someone who does not encourage me. She discourages me. And it hasn’t been just one instance where she discourages me, its been multiple instances. For example, this time of the month is lent, and I chose to give up meat. I’ve done it before, I’ve been on a strict pescatarian diet before, for a full year. And I enjoyed it, I ate less junk food and gave up meat, and I was healthy. But that obviously didn’t last long, with me being a Bangali-American and all, fried foods are everywhere. Its just, I like to have encouraging people around me. I think everyone does! It helps us get through the rough times in our lives.

Im the type of person that needs positivity in my living space. Ive been at the lowest of lows in my life. I had a great support system. I have an amazing family, and I had amazing friends at the time that loved me. I’m afraid that living with my friend who is so negative at times, can bring me back to that point. And that scares me. My friend and I have been there for each other at horrible times. I was there for her for everything. And she’s been there for me when I’ve had my moments. Im conflicted.

I don’t want to hurt her by asking to live by myself. I don’t want to hurt our friendship either, and I feel that if we continue to live together, i will eventually start resenting her for making me be so down on myself.

I cannot get to how I was before, I cannot let someone bring me down. I need to surround myself with people who truly love me and support everything I do, even if it doesn’t seem realistic at the moment!

I am also the type of person to take everything thats thrown at me, good and bad. I have a tendency to not put my foot down; look at where its got me. Im miserable. I would rather me suffer than other suffer, just because I don’t like seeing others suffer. Im selfless. But I think its time for me to be selfish for once.

I need to seriously reevaluate my life.

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